013 - We Are #MSFT's Worst Nightmare

First published, 1/9/13 on Walters & Shutwell.

The War is Over: WinTel is dying. How do I know? The growing pile of HP technology in the corner of our room tells me so.

Don't get me wrong - I am not a Cult of the Mac, graphic designer types. The last Apple computer my family owned was an IIe back in 1980.   My father, the teacher, got a massive teacher discount.  I barely touched the thing.

I grew up on DOS 2.0-4.0(the one with the square mouse pointer) my first job was with an Inacomp selling B2B, computerized accounting systems.

In addition to Great Plains,  I sold the difference between "IBM-DOS" and "MS-DOS". We despised MACs for their ease of use and lack of business applications.

I sold IBM PS/2' with OS/2. I was there from the beginning of the War. I was there when IBM, like Cleopatra on her barge, left the field of battle open to the clones and Steve Jobs.

A couple decades later, I was a Crackberry advocate and 'droid proponent.

I sold HP9065(Konica) copiers to IT directors back in the day because they loved that little blue logo. My managed print services practice was built around the Edgeline (cold sweat at night) - again, IT loved the logo.

So, yeah - I drank the Koolade for decades.

A few days ago, we brought into the office an iMAC. Jennifer uses it with her iPad, and I use a 2-month-old Mac Book Pro, with my iPad. We moved an older iMac out to be used by the kids. They have an iPhone and iPad Mini between the two. And iPod Touches.  They can bring the devices to school because the school district has implemented a BYOD policy.  A school district - that's what I said.

In the corner of the room sits an HP InkJet printer next to a half-empty box of A4 paper. The case is at least five years old and still contains a few original reams.

We don't print much.

On top of the printer is what I call, "the world's largest laptop, in the world" - some HP huge contraption that I am sure was great in its time but has also been downgraded to kid duty.

There is a Compaq/HP laptop stashed somewhere and soon to join the "pile of HP" is my last PC, ever. A very nice, HP, steel thing-a-ma-bob with so many .tmp files loaded on it, I should just take it into the woods and shoot it out of its misery.

But I won't. I need it for the picture.

We didn't wait for DOS 8.0 because we knew it was going to be a dog.

We didn't wait for all the new tablets, Droid or otherwise, because we knew they would never, ever be an iPad with the Retina display.

We didn't run out and grab the latest E-reader either  - who wants a reader when you can get an iPad mini? Who?

Not many.

Conversely, corporate America did wait. But by the time they saw what they waited for, the Kool-aid had lost its sweetness.  DOS 8.0 won't save anyone, it will remain planted in the past - #MSFT's last attempt has fallen short.  Xbox to the rescue?


Our house is now a house of Mac.

No patches, no blue screen of death, no drivers, no long boot times, and no eye fatigue.

For me, it wasn't how good my eyes felt the second I started using the iPad, that convinced me of MSFT and the PC's death.

It wasn't the zillions of cool, available, and affordable productivity apps or the fact that all my contacts and music are sharable without the headache that tipped the scales.

Just because my computer is now a pleasure to work with, easy to understand, and powerful enough for NASA, I could still see an HP or Dell somewhere in the future. In a public library or someplace.

The convenience, ease of use, and increased productivity of the Mac hadn't convinced me totally of The Fall.

The thing that clinched it, the one observation that pulled it all together, that last nail in the coffin was a little device that fits in the palm of my hand.

A technological marvel.

Like the penny in Somewhere in Time - Apple's Magic Mouse snapped every second from 1980 into the present. Boom, here it was, full circle.

The last item MSFT will see as it fades to black is the first object that set Apple apart:

The Apple (Magic) Mouse.

"Alas poor #MFST, we knew you well..."

"Oh, Canada" - The Symbols of Western Civilization Attacked.

“He was an awesome person,” Perron said. “He always had a smile on his face no matter what situation he was in.”

"You're doing good, you're doing good, buddy," he told Cirillo. "You're breathing -- keep breathing."

"You are loved. Your family loves you. You're a good man," she told him.

Unleashed Workers and the Paperless Office

It Was a Good Run: Paper and the Pony Express

The debate rages — is there, will there ever be, a paperless office? 

The politically correct response is, “no silly, it's less paper, not paperless.” My answer is the paperless office is already here and those who refuse to admit it are deniers. In the end, we’re all simply debating ourselves, expecting different results; academic insanity.

As I consider the denier position of print volume is increasing or holding steady, I wonder why HP is experiencing so many challenges and why did International Paper shuttered A4 paper-making plants? I can imagine many carriages and buggy whip manufacturers feeling the same way and expressing similar arguments the year automobiles started replacing horse-drawn carriages en masse: 1913.

Note: Buggy whips are actually a humane product used to lead horse-drawn buggies, making snapping noises to encourage them to speed up and not meant to ever touch or harm the horse.

Read more, here.

There was a time, long ago, when men rode horses, coffee was brewed and mail was delivered by hand.

Remembering is romantic and foretelling.

We stand at the precipice of the paperless age. Like the steam engine, postal stamps, cigarettes, and the horse, paper will be regarded with nostalgia and a twinkle in the eye as you tell your grandchildren how you once read email on a sliver of dead trees.

"Be Brave."

Three Ideas for Copier People Selling Managed Services

The move into managed services is well on its way and traditional copier reps are getting caught in the middle between selling boxes and selling services.  Pundits and consultants lament "copier people cannot sell managed services" unless they attend a day of specialized sales training.

It is true, I've seen plenty of managed services or IT sales destroyed by copier sales reps - from Cali to N.C. I've written about a couple of instances.

The thing is, for all the challenges and failures, the rep is not to blame. We train them to always be closing, find pain and twist, to hunt, take-down, close, trap and "increase share of wallet" - armed with this mentality, its a miracle anybody sells anything, let alone a nuanced offering like managed services.

So, as a copier rep, what can you do to secure more managed services contracts/agreements?  Should you heed your sales manager's advice and  treat help desk like a fax board?  Does your OEM offer any clues? How about a few days of off-site training followed up with a phone blitz?

"No...no...no..."

#RemoteWorking: Unleashing the Power of You

First published Oct, 2014, on WorkIntelligently, Ricoh.

The new world of work looks a lot less like the traditional corner office.

Today, the idea of mobile workers is commonplace. 

But it hasn’t always been that way. Let’s take a trip down memory lane and see where the idea came from — and from there we’ll look at where it’s headed in the future.

FedEx Training Attack Hawks: Amazon Drones Beware

SkyNet was a fictional representation of a robot Apocalypse - robot drones occupy the skies delivery humanity to the brink of extinction.

This isn't that.

Recently uncovered footage shows a hawk downing what could be an Amazon delivery drone.

What first appeared as random attacks, is thought to be results of a secret training program.  Eye witness accounts of birds attacking innocent, privately owned, 'quad-copter' drones around the world point to one possibility: Avian Skulduggery.




Just outside Memphis, TN, FedEx World Headquarters,  locals have been noticing an increase in "Bird-nappings" - pet hawks, crows, canaries and even Canadian Geese have been reported missing at a alarming rate.

"The other morning, I was feeding the geese.  I had to get more feed.  When I came back out, all 20 of 'em were gone.  Without a trace.  It's the damnedest thing...its like they just flew away...", reports Jimmie Casey, the neighborhood goose wrangler.

GoPro and QuadPod enthusiasts say their drones are under attack.  Hawks, crows and geese appear to have a singular mission; attack, maul and negate mechanical intruders.

Flying birds are not the only recruits.  Recently released NSA footage shows field training of a FedEx recruit, pestering a UPS driver.

Warning, the following footage may be too intense for some viewers.





There's more.

Obtained through the Freedom of Information Act, footage shows a foul-recruitment technique designed to entice American Bald Eagles. Locals refused to answer any questions regarding 'attack Eagles' on camera. But un-named sources close to the project said,

"It's a mess out there.  It's like they're being trained to eat fish and attack pickup trucks.  I don't like it."




More Rumors -

Internet groups like Next Day Delivery and online forum, Package Shipping are filled with whispers of a secret program, named 'Drone: Attack, Maul, Negate'(DAMN).  This program is believed to the brainchild of either Elon Musk, Sir Richard Branson or Meg Whitman.  Perhaps all three are forming a triad.

More details as our investigation continues...for now, keep your eyes to the skies and watch The Birds.




Click to email me.



* Do I need to mention that the above is a work of fiction, fantasy and fantastical?