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Tuesday, November 15, 2022

"The best part of any office job is the fact that...you can print."



"Have you ever thrown away...warm paper?"


In less than two minutes and thirty seconds, the entire work-from-anywhere-but-the-office movement and the PaperLess Office Deniers are exposed for all to see.

I know it's comedy.  All great comedy is based on a recognizable fact.  For a second listen without the humor.  Listen closely;  There is fact in this act.

Even more important, listen to how the audience responds.  Everyone knows.

Let me break it down for you:

On Getting back to the Office


"The best part about any office job is the fact that
you can print.

You can print whatever you got to print, man.

That's why I went to work, so I could get paid
I get health care and I print stuff for me
and my loved ones.

At work it's all about being wasteful
with no remorse.

You don't feel a thing.
You don't feel a thing."

How many times have I left a prospective company and mumbled, "I don't see how anything gets done in there. Too many people, too many policies, bloated and overly complex decision-making processes."?

The Office, where good people go to feel bad and productivity dies.

On Printing Green


"Have you ever thrown away documents
that you just printed?
You just clicked 'Print All'
it just came out.
It's a fresh little stack.

Have you ever thrown away
warm paper?"


If any industry in the world green washes, ours does.  How many of you heard meters clicking and cash falling reading 'fresh little stack'.  Gotcha.

On The Revolution Against Stupid Management


"They can't take away printing right now.
Printing is the only thing stopping the revolution.
When they say stuff like,
''Oh, we need you to come in on Friday
after Thanksgiving.''

That's when I'm like,
''Oh, okay!''

Okay, I guess it's time for me to
self-publish my Gmail account.


Another prophetic, Hollywood projection, is Office Space. When the only reason to come into the office is to be seen, it's the only reason to come into the office.

The Cloud is in the Sky

But you're not..

I guess it's time for me
to back it all up on paper.
People use a cloud, I'mma use trees." - Genius.


 

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Greg Walters, Incorporated
greg@grwalters.com
262.370.4193